爱的宣言 – Why do I do so?

This chat is excerpted between I and the good lady who introduced Sharon Li (李杉) to me.

Just let you know I went to Sharon‘s place yesterday. Let her know I want to finish two years obsession to her. Time to move on. I reckon I have done all the best I can do, as a man with responsibility, although I was numb, blunt and stupid a lot time.

I have published and I am going to publish more true stories under the series title “爱的宣言” about Sharon and me on my personal blog, without her permission. I know it’s not nice. But I still can’t calm down inside me to a few things she said and did to my other friends and me.

Call me a narrow-minded guy. But I have my words here – I will forgive Sharon one day, to all she did inappropriately I reckon to a person who once really loved her and was very nice to her. But not now, not at the moment.

I just want to say many thanks to you for introducing Sharon to me. Although it’s not a happy end story, I don’t regret at all. I found more new friends, knowing myself better, and becoming maturer and stronger in mind during last two years.

Meanwhile I have to say I’m a normal man as well. I have my selfishness and weakness. Although I shared some my experience with you, you can take as a reference, not as an advice. I am failed and tumbled on my personal relationship too.

I really don’t know about girls two years ago. I never had a formal relationship with girls before. From now, I can see I missed a lot of opportunities. Sharon has already signaled to me, but I hesitated. Maybe I was too greedy, selfish and never satisfied. In fact, I didn’t have my commitment at all at that moment. As soon as I realise I need to catch up, it was too late. This is bad luck. And maybe just Sharon and I don’t have this fortune to be together.

But there is no harsh feeling to you at all.

Furthermore, I don’t think Sharon is a nasty girl, although she has her upfront, dominant characteristic to others that really upset me when she already in her mature age. These are just the things happened between two person. No one is absolutely right, no one is totally wrong.

爱的宣言 – Do you think you are God?

When I asked Sharon Li (李杉) whether I could do a favour for her, because she was out of job for a while, because I had some personal business connection I reckoned maybe help. Sharon told me:

“Help what? Do u think u r the God? I M FINE. Mind ur own business. Get a theropist (therapist. Actually Sharon means psychiatrist) first.“

I replied:

“Sharon, I’m not God or Superhero. I’m just a normal man loves his girl, wishes she’s all right, wishes she can live a better life, has freedom to choose what she wants to do, not what she has to. I try to bring you more opportunities, security and make the pursuit of your dreams a little easier. This is my obligation and commitment.“

爱的宣言 – 相识以来从没与你讲过的事

To Sharon Li (李杉) :

Sharon, 我想跟你讲几件我们相识以来从没与你讲过的事：

1. 你我和欢欢见面后的第二天，欢欢就打电话过来讲她对你的印象，并问我喜欢你什么。欢欢说你很文静。之后，我跟你开玩笑地说”文静，我怎么没有看出来？”但我没有告诉你的是为什么让我喜欢你。

我跟欢欢说”你们两个人很相似，不仅非常爱美，而且都有着十足的，迷人的女性魅力。”欢欢听了很高兴，但你明白话题的主角是你，你才是这个有着十足的，迷人的女性魅力的主角。不信的话你可以找欢欢去认证。

2. 当我们在一次电话的 conversation 中，谈到了你是不是漂亮女孩。我说你不是那种在女孩子堆中一眼就能被认出来的漂亮姑娘，但你是那种越看越让人觉得有味道的女孩。然后我就等着你问我你最美 的地方是什么，但到今天你也没有问我这个问题，所以我一直没有机会向你传达这个信息。

Sharon, 你最美的地方是你的那双明亮清澈的眼睛，那是最能打动我心的地方。我不知道你是不是也这么认为。我相信我的品味，你也可以拿同样这个问题问一问其他人，很容易分出层次和高下。

3. 有一次我陪你坐在回你家的火车上时，你给我讲解如何品评好的红酒。虽然我也对此有一定的研究。但当你告诉我品酒有着前，中，后，最后你总结说好的红酒应该是 the more sophisticated the better 时，你还记得我当时说了什么吗？

我什么也没说。我当时为你这句话而倾倒，一句话也说不出来了，amazed in awe. 这不仅仅是对红酒，生活中的任何事情皆是如此－the more sophisticated the better. 我是从那一刻起，才真正意识到你是一个 different, special girl.

Sharon, 你看我平时总是说你不应该这样，不应该那样，但你知道么，最美好的 Sharon 是深藏于我的内心深处。这么多一年前发生的事，我仍记忆尤新。我不是没心没肺之辈，我是有心之人。

这是我第一次把我对你的爱中最 subtle 的讲给你。因为我觉得爱应该像春雨一样，润物细无声,是不需要过多的言语的。爱是要用心去体会，用心去感受的。

Sharon, 你明白我的心吗？

爱的宣言 – Life without passion is like a broken pencil… pointless

Once upon a time, not long long ago, not far far away, there is a beautiful Chinese girl called Sharon Li (李杉), who came from as same city as mine Beijing (北京) China, to a far place from home – Melbourne Downunder. I knew about her after a romantic opportunity when she came across into my life. With her very special personality and some magic connection between us, soon I fell in love with her.

Sadly, not every story has a sweet beginning always finish with a sweet end. Here is a story between two person, her and me. And I’m telling this true story with my true feeling, with my true love…

True OO (Object Oriented)

• Don’t go forcing your design into a pattern just for the sake of using a pattern. Simplicity should be your first concern, but if it’s a toss-up between your approach and an equally complex, well-known, standard design pattern, go for the pattern.
• Keep Variable Scope as Small as Possible; Reduce the Visibility of Things As Much As Possible
• Code to interfaces. Declare a variable, return type, or argument as an interface type rather than a specific class type. Using an interface as the type lets you expose only the definition of what your code can do, and leaves the implementation flexible and extensible and maintainable.
• Use abstract classes when you need implementation functionality.
• Less is more. Whenever you see a nested if or anything other than very simple logic flow in a method, you should seriously consider redesigning that method or splitting functionality into separate methods.
• Classes (and thus the objects instantiated from them) really should be specialists. They should do the kinds of behaviors that a thing of that type should do, and no more, no less.
• All methods should be non-static unless you have a truly good reason to make them static. OO (Object Oriented) means objects all the way down.
• Do not reinvent the wheel, and do not use any libraries other than code you developed and the core APIs. It isn’t worth giving up the benefit of using standard classes that others are familiar with, and that have been extremely, heavily tested in the field.
• Catch Low-Level Implementation Exceptions and Throw a Higher-Level Business Exception.
• Limit Subclassing. Using HAS-A rather than IS-A relationships.
• A solid, maintainable design is always look for an existing solution first!